Antiqued

Psalm 84
“Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.”

no good thing will He withold.  i choose to believe.

happiness begins on the inside, not dependent on circumstances littering life. i choose to believe breakthroughs will come. i shall choose to believe

how does someone gauge the progress of life?

on what they’ve done or are doing?

on changes applied and adapted?

been stuck at this point where all i’m doing gets stagnated

it seems like everything that i do reaches a certain point -

and then freezes

it doesn’t feel good at all actually…

how about patience?

but patient in waiting for… what thing?

a near to 4 hours chat like time has never passed

but somehow also, left me heartbroken for a close friend..

like a sheep without a shepherd

life really changes so much.

thank you for today too

even though you might not know it, thank you for reminding me gloria goh existed before this

and then i saw myself walking to shut every opened door

in this semi-dark circular room

what will be left after the doors are shut

will be me in a dark room all alone

the way i cause it to be at those points.

God was showing me an important truth

that light cannot enter if the doors are shut

i have not been doing any schoolwork which i’d preplanned to finish for the past 2 days. oops, think i’ll be regretting big time tomorrow!

i wonder if what i’d actually been doing the past day is worthy of its time. have just been replaying songs, replaying songs, and replaying songs.

im really thinking… there’re really so many talented people all over the world… and if there’re already so many, what is there that i have to be proud of? what is it about a person that makes him or her the master of a particular trade? what is it about the person who earns through his profession, as compared to another who perhaps have equal standing in terms of talent, but unable to break into the same industry?

is it luck? is it connections? is it a God-given opportunity? is it.. a destiny?

i really don’t know.

sometimes, over time i tend to assume things will happen. that it will just fall into place by itself. but to what extent is this true?

what makes me think it will simply happen just because of you have it in you? there’re tons of people with even greater potential who’re competing for the same things.

maybe it’s about staying connected to God, to His leading. about having the favor. but one thing that really struck me, is that it’s also about putting in double, triple the hard work? seeing how much energy successful people are putting into their work is showing me that talent is perhaps just… a ticket.

what am i going to do with this ticket in my hands?

i know it’s about putting it in the Master’s hands. but at the same time, how can i train myself so i’m ready when God-given opportunities pass by?